Stepping out
Hello, you wonderful mommas! For those who don’t know me yet, my name is Ashley Hutto, and I am Katie’s sister-in-law/do-er of all of life together! I am eternally grateful that God allowed us to cross paths over 15 years ago and that we have been able to continue to walk alongside each other all these years in our ministry endeavors.
For a very large part of our ministry life together, the dynamic has been Katie in the lead, and me quietly supporting her in whatever ways I can. She would lead the worship and I sung harmony and backed her up, she lead a women’s group and I was there with paper and pencil to take notes and make things happen behind the scenes, we opened a homeschool campus in our area and the deal was she would be the face and voice and I would happily interact with and tutor the kids. I think you may get the point.
Now, there were many reasons for this dynamic over the years. At first, it was because I was young, and God used her to guide me and teach me. Then it was my painful shyness. The crippling anxiety that came from being in front of people and having them look at me, judge me, potentially dislike me for what I did or said. Eventually, I started to learn that it would NOT be the end of everything if I misspoke or made a mistake in front of people, and that gave me the freedom to open up and participate a lot more in public discussions and worship. So then, it just became where I was comfortable. I knew how to make things happen behind the scenes, and it seemed less unpredictable than being up on stage or leading a group and being “in charge.”
But we are continually changing as people, especially when trying to follow God and what He wants for our lives. Slowly, I started to find my own small spaces where I was leading on my own, and I thrived! Tutoring for our little homeschool community was one of the first examples of this, and as nervous as I was those first years, I wouldn’t trade it for anything now. I started chaperoning our youth camps, with other more experienced women at first, then transitioned into the sole chaperone for the girls we brought. I also became a pastor’s wife, and that pushed me completely out of my comfort zone, yet has led to more amazing growth for me. I help lead worship with my husband, sometimes taking the lead on songs or singing by myself. I give our little children’s church messages most weeks for the kids, sitting in front of the church and talking *into* a microphone (something that just a year ago made me literally sick to my stomach.) And I now lead our women’s group discussions for our sweet church ladies who meet every few months.
When Katie came to me with the idea of the Bloom Together community, she didn’t even have to ask if I would be there and support her through it…she knew I would be just as invested as she was in loving on you ladies and creating a space where we could all grow alongside each other as women in motherhood. She made it clear that she wanted us to work on this together, with some other amazing ladies God has given us to help us on this journey. But she also knew that I am much more comfortable being a quiet supporter and would be much more private and behind the scenes than she planned to be. What’s amazing about Katie is that while she has absolutely taken the lead on this amazing project God has given her, she has always valued my opinion and listens when I have questions or concerns, or ideas. She knows my strengths and areas of knowledge and comes to me for those things, just as I do likewise for her. We sit and talk and discuss everything, probably too much sometimes. Lol
Although I’ve become very comfortable in my quiet, behind-the-scenes role and would happily stay there if it were my choice alone, God has been working on my heart for quite a while. He’s shown me that I have been very obedient in many ways by being the supporter of many people, and that there are places in my life where that will be where I continue to thrive. But He’s also shown me that I have, at times, used it as a crutch and avoided His calling for me. “Oh, I can’t do that, I’m just the support.” And “No, I can’t do that, God. I’m not the people person! You are asking the wrong one!” He is, in fact, never asking the wrong person…we just aren’t being willing and obedient.
And so for the past year, He has been slowly preparing me to step into a more active role here in this group, at the retreat, and in life in general. You will start to see more of me as I share blog posts on various topics, including sharing how I navigated some difficult life experiences that God has allowed me to go through in hopes of allowing God to use that to help other women navigate through their own journeys. There will also be a series of children’s bible lessons that will include a section for you to share with your kids and a section on how it can apply to us as moms.
I ask that you pray for me as I embark on this new leg of my journey here, and give me plenty of grace as I learn to be vulnerable in the way that God is asking. I can’t wait to start interacting more with you and learning about your journeys through life and motherhood!
See you again soon, sweet ladies!
Ashley has spent the last 10 years pouring herself into raising and homeschooling her 4 children and working alongside her husband in ministry as a pastor’s wife. God has called her to work in several ministries, including helping to lead worship and working in children’s and women’s ministries. Though there have been some difficult and painful defining moments in her life, through those, she has been able to experience the goodness of God and how He walks with you even in your darkest times. Experiencing those moments of being held has led to a passion to help other women through their hard times, sharing the hope she has found in the arms of our Father.
